In case you “mist” it….

No, I didn’t make a grammatical error in the title. It was deliberate

…

We were driving home from school this afternoon and for once my boys were actually NOT screaming at each other (which is somewhat of a miracle in itself) and I overheard Lucas asking Harley what the word ‘missed’ means.

OK. So this may not be interesting to a lot of you, but for me it brought a huge smile to my face and a big burst of pride as progress usually does, so stay with me…..

Harley (like a lot of children on the spectrum) really struggles with the comprehension side of reading. But recent research shows that sometimes, it’s more a case of the child being unable to actually articulate what they’ve comprehended rather than not actually understanding what they’ve read.

An excerpt from HERE says:

…many students with autism do understand what they read, but cannot effectively express what they know. That is, some learners only appear incapable of comprehending text. Because students with autism have movement and communication differences, they may struggle to answer questions and express ideas in conventional ways. Some students might be unable to “find” the words needed to answer comprehension questions (or any question for that matter). Others may know the words but be unable to answer questions when directly asked to do so…

Pretty cool huh!?

So anyway…..Lucas asked what ‘missed’ means and Harley answered him in a very informative matter-of-a-fact way like this: (written as closely to how I remember it as possible).

HARLEY: “Actually, ‘missed’ means three different things. Like that you were late for something (like maybe missed a meeting) or that you wish someone was with you when they’re not. Then you’ve missed them. And then there is the word ‘mist’ which is spelt (sic) differently and it is that stuff that forms on petals on flowers after it rains”.

Today’s lesson: Don’t ever doubt these kids – they will continue to amaze you.

Don’t ever give up on them – they will bless you in ways you could never imagine and don’t ever ever EVER catch yourself saying “ never”.

The art of conversation.

Do any other parents of verbal ASD children sometimes feel like having a conversation with their child is akin to pulling teeth?

(Which is an interesting analogy being that Harley is 8 and still hasn’t lost a single tooth!)

Below is a video example of a typical two way conversation with Harley. In the video, I was trying to extract information from him but it took a lot of suggestive questions on my part.

I have found that the best way to get him to talk to me is by sitting beside him – not in front of him – because otherwise he gets too distracted. He is unable to look at me and listen at the same time – It’s one or the other! And I gave him this icy pole to chew on while we talked too because this also helps him to focus.

I have realised that it can take ages for me to find out anything and I always seem to be offering the ideas and words to him. He rarely offers up information unless prompted unless we are talking about one of his interests and then he becomes fluent and hyper verbal!

But back and forth banter when the topic of conversation is of no interest to him is a skill that we are still working very hard on.

You can see that he still has a long way to go but has come SO FAR in the last 12 months and  I’m super confident that this will eventually be something that he is able to do without much effort at all.

Early Intervention

I’ve been doing some reading lately about early intervention programs for my youngest child.

He will be 4 in July.

The articles that I have been reading say that by providing your child with structure and routine regarding education from an early age, compared with children who begin intervention at a later age, show significant improvement in their ability to learn new skills and adapt to their environment.

I know that we are very blessed that he was diagnosed so young because there is a huge amount of help out there if you’re willing to seek it out.

But the more I read- the harder it looks. I’m already run off my feet and the thought of having to drive here, there and everywhere else frankly overwhelms me a little!

But early intervention is really important to us because L has significant speech delays and I do worry how he will cope with Prep next year. (Assuming he gets accepted).

(In Australia, schooling is different from state to state and where we live, Prep is the year before Kindergarten- which is the first year of school.      It is for children who are already 4 or turn 4 by July of the following year. It’s similar to pre-school but in the school environment.)

Both of my other children went to Prep and it would be a shame for L to miss out based on his developmental delays.

I have always thought that my middle child H was the “most autistic” child (there’s that lack of a PC way to describe it again)..because of the major behavioural issues that he has but he was not noticeably delayed in the speech area though he did have a receptive speech impairment. (which is common in ASD children).

But little L is almost impossible to understand when he uses his own babble and he finds it very difficult to make himself understood.

Surprisingly though, he hasn’t really picked up any of the frustration meltdowns that his brother commonly uses when he is not understood. L  just goes about his merry little way and babbles to himself.

I have been given the names and details of a few “special” pre-schools around my area that would be great for L to attend and are run by people who are specialists in the ASD world-like O.T’s ,speechies, early childhood teachers etc but I’m so hesitant to follow any of these leads up for my own selfish reasons.

I think that by enrolling him in one of these pre-schools , I am therefore admitting that my child is not suited to mainstream schooling and that’s a real blow to me. I don’t want him to be  any more “different” than he already is.

Having him get diagnosed with ASD was difficult enough for me let alone separating him from his siblings and all the other children his age that he already knows because they are the younger brothers and sisters of the kids in H and E’s classes.

And then there’s the whispering from the other mothers (who I know I shouldn’t care about their opinions anyway but I hate it when I see them watching L and talking amongst themselves).

My family is already under enough scrutiny from ill informed parents because of H and his issues.

L had his speech therapist come again this morning to do a formal assessment so I can take it up to the school with his enrolment forms and she was very encouraging.

She said that he has amazing potential and is improving a lot but she wouldn’t give me a cut and dried answer as to whether or not she thinks he would handle a mainstream prep class.

I know she’s probably not allowed to answer this but I am still in limbo as to what the best approach should be. Do we just cross our fingers and “hope for the best” or do we seriously start to investigate these “other” schools?

In the meantime, I’m going to keep researching early intervention ideas and daily help him to work on his speech. (Even if it’s just scripting to start with) and hope that he improves significantly between now and then.

The therapy dilemma.

Well now that holidays are over and term 2 is in full swing, all the therapies start up again.

We are fortunate to have a speech therapist and on occupational therapist (OT) come to our home so that we don’t have to drag all 3 kids to all the appointments.

And we are thankful that the Australian Government has a scheme in place for early intervention for ASDs. It’s called the Helping children with autism (HWCA) package.

It is only available until the child turns 7 which is only 3 months for H.
L will still have funding as he is still in the pre-school age group but we are faced with a dilemma.

H is by far, much more in need of therapies than L (though L has significant speech delays and once his funding runs out we are out on our own again.

I already have 4 out of 5 weekday afternoons taken up with speech, OT appts for both boys and tutoring for H and an after school socialising aspergers group for H and whilst on one hand, it would be nice to have some free time again after school, on the other hand, H desperately needs these therapies to continue to function.

His O.T. is doing a Sensory Integration Diet with him but it’s overwhelming to think that if we don’t continue it after the funding runs out, that it will all fall on me to do this therapy in the home by myself.

I’m sure I will get my thoughts more together before then and come up with a solution. Maybe cut back to fortnightly visits or take him out to playgrounds after school etc etc.

I’m only journalling my thoughts on this not panicking, as his birthday gets nearer, my head will be clearer.

It’s funny because I often pat myself on the back because I feel I’ve learned so much about autism in the past 3 years but then you do some research and discover that there is SO MUCH more to learn and that it’s really only the tip of the iceberg in terms of knowledge and practicality.
But right now, I’m feeling overwhelmed and I can smell the coffee brewing (God bless my husband) so I’m making the decision to push it aside for another few weeks and deal with it then lol!