I’m being mocked by a list!

So it’s been almost three weeks since I have been a free agent.

Three weeks where I have had six straight hours to myself, five days a week.

A while back, I made a ‘later’ list.

You know….a list of all of those little things that have needed doing but you’ve never had to time to do them? I told myself (and Mr Patient) that once all the kids were at school full-time, that I’d tackle that list with gusto.

So I sat down today with a pen and decided to tick some of them off so that I could feel better about myself, and like I’d actually achieved something worthwhile over this three-week period!

OK.

So, number one was the basket full of sewing repairs.

I have a HUGE basket full of many items of clothing such as dresses with seams to let out, skirts with hems to fix and shirts that need buttons sewn on. Oh – and Hubby’s work pants that need to be altered too.

I peered into it and realised that none of it had been touched. It has been so long that dust has settled on the edges of the basket. It was not looking good!

I sighed and moved onto number two on the list.

2. Clean out the pantry.

I opened the doors and glanced in (which is kinda funny since I look in there everyday and I wasn’t sure what I thought was going to be different this time!) and nope – it was still a massive mess of opened boxes and mismatched Tupperware containers. An upturned cereal box with a trail of nutri-grain spilling out caught my eye and I quickly slammed the doors closed and went back to my list.

“It’s all good” I told myself, “You are exhausted, so you know that you MUST have done a LOT. You’ll see”!

Number 3. Tidy up the games cupboard. 

Now THIS one I knew I could tick off. I walked into the hallway to open what once was a linen press that we had turned into a games cupboard. I flung the doors open proudly so I could check out my awesomeness.

But I was startled to see boxes literally stuffed in and several loose games pieces on the floor.
The higher shelves were still immaculate but the lower ones….not so much!The second bottom shelf had some of Lucas’ dinosaurs gathered in a corner having a “pow wow” and for some strange reason…..there was a sheet stuffed in there? It hasn’t been used as a linen closet for years?

But then I remembered:

<<– See this photo?  See that little bitty screw and screwdriver that are stuck up in the architrave with blu-tack? Well, the cupboard usually has a child lock on it to prevent access by the smaller humans but I took it off a few weeks ago so that Ella could get to it easily when she had a friend stay over. I hadn’t told the boys that they could access it now but they have obviously found out!  And silly me forgot to re-attach it!

I sighed resignedly and glanced down at item number four hoping for a reprieve.

4. Re-organise our walk-in robe.

I laughed out loud when I read this, I KNEW it was a disaster – I got dressed this morning by putting on something straight from the ironing basket (un-ironed of course)!

My list sure wasn’t looking good.

I thought a good alternative would be to write down what I HAD done instead of pointing out to myself what I hadn’t.

Let’s see. Monday: Met a friend for coffee, put petrol in my car, made the lunches for the week at school, re-packed Ella’s bags for camp (don’t even GO there!), came home and slept for 3 hours. Dragged myself up to school to collect the kids, had an impromptu meeting with the teacher. Spent waaaay too long arguing with Harley over doing his homework, over showering, over packing up his toys, over just.about.everything! And fell into bed exhausted at 9pm.

No. Can’t write that down. That’s just a normal day. No special achievements there.

Tuesday: Vacuumed and mopped house, washed 4 loads of washing, baked 2 loaves of gluten-free bread and changed sheets on three beds. Not bad….but then I lay down on the lounge and slept for an hour before collecting the kids. Same afternoon routine : argue, be firm, still manage to lose, fall into bed exhausted.

Wednesday: Drove Mr P to the airport for his interstate flight, did the grocery shopping, slept for 2 hours and was woken by a text message from a friend. Met her for a quick coffee before collecting the kids.

After school fights, forcefulness and frustrations.

Rinse and repeat.

And today: 2 more loads of washing, fresh food shopping, cooked two meals and …wait for it…..slept for another hour.

There’s a theme emerging here! I seem to be doing a lot of sleeping. Hmmmm, maybe it’s my body’s way of saying ENOUGH ALREADY!

Or maybe it’s just all too overwhelming and my brain is choosing to shut down! LOL

I seriously take my hat off to mothers who manage to work outside the home as well as keep a house and family. I simply do not know how they do it. They are AMAZING!

I can hardly cope with the everyday stuff let alone my “later list”. And about that later list?

Well, if you’re looking for me – I’ll be curled up on some couch somewhere watching that stupid list BURN on an open fire! I don’t care if it’s summer here! I can handle the heat.

And then?

Well then, I’ll more than likely doze off

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday 15/2/12…my odd child!

I’m only just scraping in to Wordless Wednesday by a few hours here in Australia and I wasn’t going to post anything today but I just HAVE to share this.

I was heading to bed for an early night and went into the boy’s room to check on them first. I kissed them both and as I pulled up Lucas’ sheets, I noticed a big lump protruding from the bottom of the bed so I felt it but couldn’t work out what it was.  I went and turned on the hallway light to get a better look and had to stifle a laugh when I noticed him sporting an OVEN MITT on his FOOT???

Yup. That’s right. An oven mitt!

It was complete with food stains because it had been thrown in the hallway in front of the laundry (by a lazy me) so he’s obviously seen it on his way to his bedroom and thought: ‘Hmmmm……This big sock is pretty cool, I will put it on!’

What a thoroughly odd child!

But it did give me a giggle

Wordless Wednesday 12/10/11… It’s all in how you hold your tongue..

Wordless Wednesday 28/9/11 …..The boy is a puppy…apparently!

Wordless Wednesday 21/9/11…You don’t have to be lying down to sleep!

Wordless Wednesday 14/9/11…Stacks on Mum!

 

Wordless Wednesday 7/9/11 – What do you mean this is not how you put in ear plugs?

"But they ARE in my ears Mummy!"

Why traffic lights SUCK!

Lucas has a new ‘thing’. He likes to sing in the car.

But it’s not just any old singing. Oh no…..because that wouldn’t bother me so much.

Regular singing would be cute and bearable and maybe even catchy, but his is the repetitive nonsense type of singing that makes you want to poke yourself in the eye.

Until it bleeds.

Because that would be less painful.

UGH!

And it’s not that he is terribly off-key, in fact – he seems to be the only child of mine that picked up any of my musical abilities but it’s more the type of songs that he chooses to sing that do my head in.

For example: Does anyone remember the Traffic light song by the Monty Python guys?

Well for the uninitiated: here is the worst song you could possibly imagine.

Now try to imagine it being sung to you over and over and over again…..

Do you feel sorry for me yet?

Oh….and a huge thankyou to my lovely husband for showing it to the boys in the first place

Awesome.

Totally Awesome.

Lucas regularly sings this insidious song in the car, but that wasn’t what he chose to sing this morning.

No, this morning’s song was a made up song that stemmed from an episode that we had a few weeks ago where he completely pushed my buttons and got the desired reaction from me and therefore obviously never forgot about it.

It also happened in the car on the way to school one morning.

Harley had whispered to Lucas that it would be funny if he told me that he’d peed his pants. Which was just lovely as you could imagine.

So…. he did and he acted the part so well that I totally took the bait and completely freaked out. I pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car whilst going off my head ranting at him: “Why didn’t you tell me you needed to go?”.

I opened his car door and reached in and put my hand on his legs to check the relative humidity and at that exact moment they both started giggling hysterically saying: “We tricked you Mummy! We were just joking!”

I failed to see the humourous side and they knew it but they couldn’t stop laughing for the rest of the way nonetheless.

~~~

So anyway….back to the song.

After I’d dropped the older kids at school this morning, I started to drive Lucas to pre-school. I turned onto the freeway and a little voice from the backseat piped up singing a song to the tune of “The Farmer In The Dell”.

Here’s the tune:

~~~~~

Lucas’ version went like this:

“I think I peed my pants,

I think I peed my pants,

Uh-Oh Mu-u-mmy,

I think I peed my pants”.

Ok….So I laughed at his cleverness the first time and maybe even smiled the second but by the 93^rd time in 15 minutes ….I was ready to commando roll outta that car going at high speeds and make a run for it!

And I’m more than a little suspicious that he had some help coming up with the lyrics for this….Hmmmmmm?

So…what do your kids like to sing in the car and does it drive you completely batty too?

~~~~~

THIS is how I cope ;)

My daughter Ella likes to take pictures. She can often be seen jumping out from behind furniture to capture that all important candid shot. Some of them turn out to be fabulous pics but a lot of them are just downright embarrassing!  I must admit that she has captured some fabulous memories though!

Anyway, I was looking through her latest album of randoms and I noticed a bit of a theme with the photographs of me. It is a theme that relates to how I cope.

I decided that it was time to come clean on here but first – I need to give you all some history.

Harley and Lucas are loud.

No, I’ll make it clearer than that… Harley and Lucas are REALLY LOUD!!!!

Harley has major sensitivities to noise and Lucas is like a human foghorn.

Now….you would think that with Harley having such strong aversions to loud noises that he wouldn’t make too much of it himself wouldn’t you? Um…..no, sadly that’s not the case!  He can often be found screaming at the top of his lungs at his siblings, at me, at the toy that just.won’t.do.what.it’s.told and at all of the screens in the house that don’t give him the result he requires.

He also has a loud monotone talking voice and I gotta tell you that the constant noise in this house DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!!

I also want to add that after I had brain surgery to remove a tumour 5 years ago and am now 100% deaf in my right ear and as a result – I have become extremely protective of the hearing that I do have left. So the boy’s constant noise can start to get to me a lot sooner than it used to because I have trouble filtering sounds nowadays. I never had a problem with crowds in shopping centres or loud music in other people’s cars at the traffic lights or even general kid noise but over the last few years – I really really can’t take it.

I suppose my stress levels being at a constant high wouldn’t help much either – but back to Ella’s penchant for candid photos…

These next 5 photos that Ella took of me feature me “coping with the noise”…..or not! (And for the record…..the horrible black leggings in most photos are my “house pants”….eeeewww I know!)

⬇THIS⬇ is how I cope

Cooking in silence (look closely at my head)

Vacuuming in silence

Blog reading in Silence

Making beds in silence

Cleaning teeth in silence

And occasionally I drive wearing my trusty headphones because you CAN’T ESCAPE when you’re in a car LOL!

Throwing out the books.

image from picturesof.com

Once upon a time in a house just like ours, many many years ago – we were experiencing some “interesting”  behaviour from Harley and I went searching for some helpful tips on how to handle the particular challenges that he was presenting to us.

When I think about it now-I can’t actually believe that I did this (a wire must have come loose in my brain or something) because I headed straight for the parenting books that I had on my bookshelves to see if I could get any little tidbits from any of them that might help.

Yeah, I know!

Dumb idea. REALLY dumb idea!

I completely agree now.

The first book I picked up should have come with a warning label on the side that said: If you are a parent of a child on the autistic spectrum…..DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!   It is written for parents of typically developing children and it will leave you feeling like a terrible parent because NONE of these methods will work for you.

The simple fact (as hard as it was for me to admit it at the time) is that my children don’t develop in the same way that neuro-typical children do so attempting to apply these methods to them was ridiculous from the get-go.

Let me explain:

Chapter one started off by stating that:  “As your child grows, they begin to understand the natural connection between actions and consequences”.

Then I read further to come across this little gem -

“Timeouts work well for all children between the ages of 2-8. Establish a suitable timeout place that’s free of distractions and it will force your child to think about how he or she has behaved. Don’t forget to consider the length of time that will best suit your child. Experts say 1 minute for each year of age is a good rule of thumb; others recommend using the timeout until the child is calmed down (to teach self-regulation)”.

 Calm down? Self regulation?

I remember thinking that if my child was able to self-regulate or self calm, I wouldn’t be reading this book searching for answers in the first place!

And for what it’s worth - my child didn’t used to go into time out ‘thinking’ about what he’d done wrong! – He was usually confused as to why he was even in trouble in the first place because most of the time he hadn’t been able to connect an action to this particular consequence!

On a recent note – we do actually use time outs in this house but for a completely different reason….we use them because *we* need a break from the child. We put them in their rooms so that they stop kicking, hitting or screaming at us so it’s usually more a case of a creating distance between the kicker and the kickee than the usual reason for imposing a timeout.

***

I know that I really should have tossed the book at this point but my curiosity got the better of me so I read on. I flicked to the chapter on 9-12 year olds and read this:

“Kids in this age group — just as with all ages — can be disciplined with natural consequences. As they mature and request more independence and responsibility, teaching them to deal with the consequences of their behavior is an effective and appropriate method of discipline”

Hmmmm, wasn’t this the same thing that I read way back in chapter one?

I can’t believe how far our thinking has come in only 4 short years!

And before you all think I’m being completely unfair and un-teachable here by bagging the aforementioned book - Yes, I do agree with some of the writings on some levels….but first I have to get over the hurdle that is my child being completely unable to predict consequences. Most of this book was founded on that premise.

Gosh disciplining would be a heck of a lot easier if my child GOT that small piece of the puzzle.

But I’m not going to go off on a negative rant here – no, I’m going to write about what WE do that (so far) seems to be working for us.

You know that phrase that parents use all the time “You’ve got to the count of three before I….” (insert threat of choice).

Well…I used to do that too, but I always ended up with a sobbing mess of a child who simply couldn’t process my request that quickly and would descend into a mammoth meltdown before my eyes.    So now I give him a slow count to ten instead and get the same result. He still knows that I am requiring obedience, but I am not rushing him and causing him more unnecessary stress.

And saying to one of my boys: “Remember what happened LAST time you did that” as a warning to not commit the same crime….chances are he is unable to recall it so now, I remind him as I go.

ie:

“Lucas – last time you tipped that jug of water on the floor – Mummy got really cross and you had to help me mop the floor so THIS time, I want you to stop pouring it NOW, before you get yourself into trouble” (side note – don’t ever use the phrase  ‘will get you into hot water’ on a literal child!)

And whether he is able to recall it or not – the message still gets through but without all the confusion.

Or how about when parents say to their kids:

“I want you to pick up your dirty socks and put them in the hamper, carry your soccer boots to the laundry, take out your lunch box and place it on the kitchen bench then put your school bag in your room”.

 If I said all that – I can guarantee you that NONE of it would get done and I’d have tears, tantrums and refusal on my hands.

I’ve had to learn that this is all WAY too much for an ASD child to process, there are too many steps to that command so I would then approach this scenario in one of two ways.

Either break the tasks up into single requests or write a list (for Ella’s age group) or draw pictures depicting what I needed to happen for the boys because they are younger.

I have to say that learning these methods and more have been life changing for us. A lot of the drama can be removed if I just remember to try to think like they do.

I’m continually trying to research new methods of how to help my kiddos and if anyone can put me onto a book that’s written specifically for ASD kids regarding disciplining and raising younger children – please write to me and share!!! I still need all the help that I can get!

And lastly – I have a handful of parenting books for typical children that are gathering dust  on my shelves.  Anyone wanna come and take them off my hands?  :)

Um yes, that’s MY son :)

 This afternoon my kids have made me laugh on so many occasions that I could almost write an entire post just by writing them all down here.

But I won’t. I have the sneaking suspicion that a lot of them were really only funny to me. You know – mother’s love and all that!

But I will say that my joy and delight in them lately has all been about choice. VERY much so.  This afternoon as I sat on the computer on a Skype call to a close friend in the UK – the boys were tearing around the house screaming and laughing like maniacs.

.

I turned around in my seat and bellowed at them “You boys are so bloody noisy, you can be heard in England at the moment!”

My friend and I giggled and Harley gave me a puzzled look. Maybe he thought I was serious?

Anyway, I’d better get this post back on track because there are a number of different tangents this could take if I don’t pull back on the reigns now! I want to write about the parent/teacher interviews that we had last night.

Mr Patient was going to go alone but I didn’t trust him to ask the right questions in the end we decided to go together and take the kids with us.

Well….it seemed like a good idea at the time!

First we headed over to middle school to meet Ella’s teacher.

We waited for our turn and Harley threw himself on the floor in absolute disgust because he was bored and didn’t make a secret of it which I thought was rather funny but Mr Patient wasn’t impressed!
Ella’s teacher is lovely and she got a fantastic term 2 report . One line in her report said : Ella is very accepting, I never hear any negative comments or actions from her…

THIS made me beam with pride because she lives in a household that is very different to those of her peers and it has obviously taught her to be more tolerant.

We explained to him that she lives with a lot of “action” (I think that’s what we called it) and that if she sometimes appears a bit distant or vague – it’s probably because she is dealing with a lot after hours. He smiled and said that students with “action” at home tend to mature quicker out of necessity and I know that this is definitely the case for Ella. She’s my right hand and my helper a lot of the time and I often have to remind myself that she’s only 11 and realise that the boys are not her responsibility.

He asked us how she is coping “socially” which I thought was an odd question for a male teacher to ask but then it clicked that maybe it’s been mentioned to him that I suspect that Ella is a bit spectrummy herself. I’m not sure but if this IS the case, – I’m thrilled! I answered by telling him that the 3 girls that she has recently bonded with have been an absolute God-send for us and that we haven’t experienced any of the bullying from previous years.

All in all – we didn’t need to stay and chat with him for long because Ella got a glowing report and we couldn’t be more proud of her

Next we walked down to junior school to see Harley’s teacher and the entire interview was absolutely hilarious. She told us little happenings from the classroom which made us both roll our eyes because we could picture them all-too-well! Apparently he’s the little class clown. NO surprises there!  Only I don’t think he actually intends to be funny. He just is!

One of the funniest things she told us was about the day that Harley wrote out a story and handed it in and she was unable to read it so she asked him if he could read it to her. She said he looked at it and then back at her and said: ” I can’t read THIS – whoever wrote this is a TERRIBLE writer,How do you expect me to read it?”

When she told him that it was in fact his story, he shook his head and said “I really need to learn to write better don’t I!”

Yep….that’s my boy! Cute as a button but he makes me CRAZY!!!!!

At least things are settling down here now – only 2 more school days until the kids are on holidays for 3 weeks.

Now….where did I put that Valium?

One ship – one captain – echolalic style!

Delayed echolalia: –  a phenomenon, commonly seen in autism spectrum disorders, involving the meaningless automatic repetition of overheard words and phrases. It occurs hours, days, or even weeks after the original stimulus.

*****

There’s something to be said for backseat drivers. They can be really irritating. There is nothing worse than someone pointing out every little thing that you do wrong, always knowing a better way to go and never keeping their mouth closed!

Thankfully, Mr Patient NEVER does it to me and I never feel the need to do it to him either because he is a brilliant driver. He drives around the state for a living so has had a LOT of practise!

But sadly, this is not the case with my boys! They can be so frustrating to drive with but they really make me laugh some days!

This afternoon after I’d collected Lucas from pre-school, we were driving to pick Ella up from a dance rehearsal, and from the minute I’d turned off the freeway they both started harassing me.

“Go faster Mum”, “get into the other lane”, “don’t let him in front of you” “why are you still in this lane, you know the exit is coming up” and “MUM – Watch out!!!!!”  

It was so.damn.annoying!

Once I’d turned off the freeway and onto the main road and they seemed to lessen their nagging for a bit so I settled in to enjoy the rest of the trip in relative peace.

But as I neared the turnoff to the dance studio, there was a line of cars up ahead and not wanting to have to sit in it, I decided to take a left turn and go down some back streets to try and avoid it. Right as I turned a corner and moved into the right lane Lucas called out “What are you doing Mum?….This is the wrong way…..We’re lost…..go baaaaaack……”!

I smiled at him in the rearview mirror and said: “It’s ok,  I know what I’m doing. But just remember my boy – there’s only one ship, and one captain”.

“What does that mean Mum?” he asked innocently.

I started to answer him and then Harley cut over the top with: “It means matey, that if you don’t shut up and stop telling Mum how to drive, she will make you scrub the poop decks or throw your sorry ar*e overboard to swim with the fishes”  He also threw in an “Aaarrrrrr” at the end for good measure.

I really shouldn’t have laughed.

But I made a mental note to go through all his DVDs and figure out which one is the culprit for teaching him THIS!

How to lose 3 days of your life…..

I couldn’t be bothered writing a whole post today so I am re-posting this one from this time last year…..I needed a laugh today and this provided it  :D

My husband makes me laugh.  
Sometimes the ‘roll-my-eyes-and-giggle’ kind of laugh, but mostly the ‘laugh-out-loud-I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that’ laugh!

He is all about “time management” and is constantly showing me ways that I can “improve” and “better achieve my goals” and as a result of this: he is also very familiar with my response of “pfft” and “whatever”.

He likes to run our house like a business meeting and expects me to take minutes. He tells me that there will be a test later so I’d better listen up. He tries to tell me that he is joking (of course) but I believe that a LOT of truth is said in jest

The “business plan” gets run past me every couple of months and I’m expected to present my own personal goal plans and expected outcomes for the children for that quarter so we can compare notes. (I am yet to provide one!)

His ‘plan’ is usually complete with graphs, timelines and records. EVERYTHING has to be kept on record for future reference.

But what I find so amusing about all of this is the fact that he married me!

He could not have chosen a less organised, lackadaisical, fly by the seat of her pants wife if he tried!

Maybe that’s where the secret of our success lies? - I would be driven crazy by someone as slap happy as me and he wouldn’t cope if he had to share control!

His outlook on simple everyday run-of-the-mill tasks is really quite unique.

For example:

He has informed me that I will waste the total of three days of my life if I tear the sachets of sugar that I put in my coffee individually. But if I tear them both together , then the world will be at peace for another day because the extra three days I have then saved, can be put to good use by doing something more economical??.

And , there was a time recently when I moved our kitchen bin from beside the bench to beside the fridge because it looked much neater and was hidden from sight.

The next morning I found it moved back with this note attached as an explanation :

Dear Fiona,

Thank you for your attempt at making the kitchen more aesthetically pleasing to the eye, however, I calculated that with the bin being moved to that location, it would take me an extra five paces to utilise the bin as it is further from where it used to abide beside the kitchen bench.

This is completely unacceptable for the following reasons:

1. There is too greater possibility of garbage seepage and spillage finding it’s way onto the floor during the extra five paces whilst in transit from the bench to the bin.

Bin juice is no-one’s friend.

2. I will waste an hour and half of every year by completing five extra paces every time I wish to use the bin if I use it on average of four times per day.

Those extra twenty paces multiplied by thirty years, equals approximately a day and a half of the rest of my life being wasted  every time I wish to deposit wasteful products into said garbage receptacle.

3. It is a known fact that garbage bins do no belong beside refrigerators.

4.The bin has ALWAYS been beside the bench for the last seven years, nine months and sixteen days that we have resided in this house and I simply cannot allow this atrocity to continue another day.

5. It doesn’t look right.

Thanking you in advance for your assistance in this matter.

Mr Patient……..

Yes, he is serious.

If I didn’t laugh, I’d cry!

No rules day.

This weekend, Mr Patient took Ella on a 4wding weekend escape with his work.    Our entire family had the option of going too but the thought of spending two full days in a car with two children who HATE travelling made me shudder!

So the solution was for me to stay home with the boys.

It turned out to be a fantastic decision too. We have had SO much fun together.

When we all arose yesterday morning, I told the boys that it was a “no rules” day. BUT before you all start rolling your eyes and telling me what a fool I was let me explain…..   I am WELL aware of how literal my boys can be so I made sure that I emphasised that house rules STILL applied. ie: No hitting, punching, kicking or name calling and that when Mummy asks you to do something – you still need to do it!

The “no rules” part referred to the fact that there were no set in stone rules over what they were allowed to play with and for how long.

They chose Lego and baking of all things - I had to stop myself from reacting every time that I looked out and saw the Lego strewn from one end of the living room to the other but it was wonderful to see them having so much fun!

Anyone who knows me would know how hard it was for me to see this!!!

They created a lot of new and exciting Lego spaceships and I got an awesome video of Harley talking me through the way that his mega ship worked. Unfortunately, his real name and Lucas’  real name are all through the video so I  can’t put it on here but there was one  part where I asked him what his craft  was called and he said:

“I don’t know but I’m going to build it  one day when I grow up”….“PROUD  MUM MOMENT ALERT!

But here is a photo of him with his creation instead

Check out the pride on his face!

And Lucas with his duplo spaceship!

After lunch, we headed into the kitchen  and made some white chocolate  biscuits. (cookies for all my Northern Hemisphere friends).

The boys were so excited to be helping  me in the kitchen. I’m ashamed to say that I don’t allow them to as often as I probably should because I HATE the mess that they make, but because I’d promised “no rules day” I had to let them have a go!

Harley can't resist the urge to play in the spilt sugar

This is serious work!

The best part!

 I just love the concentration on their faces as they measure and stir the ingredients!

That night, Harley asked me if Lucas could sleep in his room for a “slumber party” and he helped me move the folding bed into his room and make it up for Lucas.

They were SO excited and begged me to join them too!

I made us all some hot chocolates with marshmallows and we ate our biscuits in bed and they giggled because normally, this kind of thing is a big no-no and they felt SO NAUGHTY!!!! It was divine to see their delighted little faces at something that really is such a little thing!

We laid on the bed together taking silly photos on my phone and I stayed until they fell asleep before creeping out again.

   

Later on, I snuck back in to take these photos of my little sleeping babies with their teddy and puppy snuggle toys and vowed that we absolutely HAVE to do this again.

I desperately wanted my boys to remember this weekend and how much their mother loves them. I want them to realise that they are perfect just as they are and that I would move mountains for them. I know it’s been rough on them lately with my emotional turmoil being so tangible  so it’s moments like these that overshadow the difficult days and make them so much easier to endure when they do come.

It’s just a shame that life can’t always be this sweet.

Noisy boys

When you put my two boys together, it’s like adding bicarb soda to vinegar.  I mean – we are talking SERIOUS explosions of messy goop here! 

There is chaos and mayhem mixed with a healthy dose of overactivity.

It’s NEVER quiet and they compete to see who can be the loudest and get the most attention. But then it usually turns sour because Harley quickly becomes overwhelmed and covers his ears and starts screaming “STOP TALKING”…..

I know I shouldn’t laugh, but it really is quite funny and it never ceases to amaze me that a child like Harley who is extremely sensitive to noise can make so bloody much of it himself!

This afternoon, Mr Patient came home early from work to help with the busy Thursday rush of running around to various therapies, school pick-ups, pre-school collection and ferrying to and from dance rehearsals. This is a mammoth task that I usually undertake all by myself and it is utterly exhausting! I leave the house at 1:30pm and usually walk back in around 6:45pm. UGH!

But I had a bit of a parental meltdown myself after last Thursday and gave Mr Patient an ultimatum….Either he had to come home earlier on Thursdays or I was going to pull all of the kids out of their groups. I’m happy to report that he came through for me and this week was the first day of this new routine.

How did it go?

Well….you’ll have to ask him! (that’s if you can get him to answer – he’s currently in the corner rocking and sucking his thumb moaning “NO MORE BOYS, NO MORE BOYS!” )

Of course I’m kidding! But he did get a glimpse of the ridiculous noise levels and madness that I’ve become accustomed to and said that he doesn’t know how I manage! (Keep it up darling – that’s the kinda talk that makes me smile).

I remembered a poem that I wrote a while back when I was in another one of my these-boys-are-driving-me-absolutely-stark-raving-nuts moments and showed ti to him tonight.

He smiled and nodded knowingly so I thought I’d re-blog it here tonight.

Don’t get the wrong idea here: I love them to bits but they DRIVE ME BATTY!!!!!!

Raising boys can be quite rough,
And challenging at times,
Sometimes I think I’ve had enough,
And they cross too many lines…

They seem to think that no means yes,
And push me til I break,
When it stops is anyone’s guess,
So what’s it going to take?!

The constant noise is over the top,
They run and flap and jump,
My days are full and I don’t stop,
Meanwhile….my house becomes a dump!

I wonder if it is just me,
That struggles with my lads?
Do other mums of boys agree,
Are you also going mad?

Some people say that they will grow,
Into some fine young men,
But there’s still one thing I want to know,
Can someone tell me when?

If I had to choose the thing I love,
The most about my boys,
It wouldn’t be the fighting or
The ever-present noise,

It would just plain and simply be,
The way they make me melt
When they hug me tight and then kiss me,
And I’m thankful for the hand I’ve been dealt.

Why I told my son to stay away from nerds.

Yes that’s right….I have told my child to stay away from nerds.  

Before you start thinking that I’m a horribly judgemental and awful parent – let me explain…

Firstly…my son is a bit of a nerd himself. He regularly spouts out monologues about his current favourite aircraft or favourite Ben 10 alien or something else equally inane.

And I tell Mr Patient all the time that he is also more-than-a-bit of a bit of a nerd himself!

I mean: his ever growing star wars Lego collection, his fascination with car makes and models, his love of all things related to science fiction, computers or technology is only a small snippet of why I think this!

B-O-R-I-N-G!

But no, these are still not the types of nerds that I am referring to.

I’m talking about these suckers…

⬇

Harley’s teacher made a bee-line for me after school today because she was quite upset that another child had bought Harley a packet of nerds at the school canteen at lunchtime and that he had eaten the whole entire packet.

She wanted me to know how sorry she was for his consequent behaviour issues and that she had spoken to the other child and told them that they are NOT to buy things for other children ever again.

I assured her that I wasn’t upset with her and told her that Harley is getting to the age where he needs to take some responsibility as well! He is almost 8 and he knows that he isn’t allowed to eat something that’s THIS chock full of preservatives and colours!

The teacher was still not convinced that I was ok and then I saw him with my own eyes.

It.was.hilarious!

He had glazed over eyes and alternated between dazed out and hyperactive.

He ran and ran and ran and ran some more!

He yelled out a quick “Hi Mum” as he tore past me for the gazillionth time throwing his school bag in my general direction.

I laughed…I mean…. What else could I do?

Some kids are fine with food colourings in high doses…whereas others (like my boy) are definitely NOT!

And just because I’m a caring, sharing kinda gal…. Here’s a quick video of Harley taken minutes after we walked in the door this afternoon. (Of course Lucas had to copy his brother too…)

…

…

We’ve now been home for almost 2 hours and he’s still running!

Which is flipping FANTASTIC!

Not.

Well….My weirdo magnet is working again!

This is  re-post of an older blog that I dug out because this kinda stuff is happening again and it really makes me laugh

*****************

For years my husband and I have had a running joke that I am just one big weirdo magnet.

Seriously……weird people are literally drawn to me.

I don’t understand it myself but it’s definitely a true statement!

From the stranger in the supermarket who asked me hold her baby while she went to the bathroom, to the checkout girl that told me the in-depth story of how she had to get her cat put down because it was showing homosexual tendencies to her neighbours cat, to the lady I sat next to in church that asked me to use my pen.

I handed her my pen as I thought that the one she was holding in her hand had run out of ink but she then proceeded to put “my” pen in her handbag and kept writing with her own?

I asked her why and she informed me that she liked the look of my pen because it would match her diary at home and that’s why she asked me for it? OOOOoookaaaaayyy!

And I must have a trustworthy face, because the things that people tell me are mind-boggling!

I’ve had to stop women when they start telling me about their bedroom “issues” with their husbands, I’ve had a woman who’ve I’ve NEVER met before offer to come and babysit my kids while I go to the hairdresser (my roots were pretty BAD at that time) and that was her way of telling me to get them done!!

And yesterday, a man came to our front door with a questionaire on electrical companies and I informed him that I wasn’t interested so he said he would wait until I was ready to listen to him. (I threatened calling the police and he eventually left!)

And this kind of stuff has been going on my entire life! Even back in high school I can remember classmates revealing weird and wonderful things to me!

I had a boyfriend that would come over to my place and sit in the eucalyptus tree in my parent’s front yard and pretend to be a koala…….For hours.

Another time he arrived with a long rope and climbed onto the roof of my parent’s 2 story home and proceeded to abseil down the walls? He also once tied two pieces of cardboard to his shoes and then attached a rope to the bumper on his car and asked his brother to drive slowly so he could “road ski”

The idiot ended up in hospital with severe gravel burn!

And these are the kind of people that are drawn to me!

Burt I’ve been thinking…….I certainly live with a lot of “strange” now and I wonder if all of the odd things I’ve experienced (and continue to experience) are preparation for what lies ahead with my quirky family?

Was the woman who stole groceries out of my trolley in the supermarket just God’s sense of humour getting me ready for my own odd little boy who grabs things out of other people’s ?

And the lady in the news agency who asked me outright why my face was lopsided just a glimpse into my future where my aspie but honest son would eventually ask me why I have one eye that is “spooky” and one that’s “normal”?

Ahhh, you’ve absolutely GOT to laugh. It’s just too funny to do anything else!

I had ANOTHER one of these moments only today!

After dropping Lucas to pre-school, I headed up to a shopping centre to buy a birthday present for Mr Patient whose birthday it is on Saturday. I was browsing in one of the department stores when one of the lively 20 something girly-girl too-perky-for-my-liking assistants came over and asked me if I needed any help.

I politely told her that I was just looking and smiled as if to say “hurry-along-now-and take-your-annoying-little-giggle with you!” But she wouldn’t get the hint!

I was looking in the book section which was very close to the makeup counter and she stood beside me and asked me if I wanted to “get a makeover”…..I laughed at her and said : “Why? Do I look like I need one?”

She smiled and said “Well honey…yeah, you kinda do!”

I was too shocked to be angry so I laughed again at her gall and tried to picture HER after 3 kids and 5 surgeries and that made me SMILE

It’s funny to me because all this time, I’ve thought that I look like THIS ⬇

But it seems that my mirror has been lying to me because apparently, I REALLY look like this! ⬇

When your offspring embarrass you!

Sometimes, my son REALLY doesn’t know when to talk and when not to!

image from bbc.co.uk

We had Mr Patient’s sister and her family from Adelaide and his mother stay with us last night. We haven’t seen them in 6 years. That means that Harley was only 2 when we last saw them and they had never even met Lucas!

Their daughter’s (my nieces) *Greta and *Kate are absolutely lovely. Harley took a particular liking to Greta who is almost 14. He let her carry him everywhere (hehe – she didn’t realise that he was just too lazy to walk!)

The girls came with me as I drove to collect the kids from school and pre-school yesterday afternoon and we had a great time catching up.

As we were pulling out of the driveway from pre-school, Harley calls out to Greta. The conversation was hilarious. It went something like this:

Harley: “Greta, do you know what?”

Great: “What?”

Harley: (launching into a monologue) ” I am a BIG aspie. I have aspergers, I am on the spectrum. I am a spectumite, I am wired differently, I am unique, my Mum tells me that I am special and I am smarter than most people” (and then he took a breath!)

Greta: (looking at me questioningly) “Really mate?…..that’s nice”

Harley: “Yep, so is Lucas. He’s a smaller aspie than me though and not as smart.  And Ella….she’s an aspie but doesn’t want to be so she pretends that she’s not”.

(At this point Ella cuts in with “shut-up Harley….you are SO full of it”).

Harley: “And Daddy…..you should SEE him ! Woah……Mum always tells him that he’s carrying on like a 2 year old. Once she told him off for giving her autistic sperm!”

Me: “(absolutely mortified and wondering how on earth he knows that?) “That’s enough Harley…I think you’ve finished talking now”

Harley: “No, I haven’t I still haven’t told Greta and Kate that you are an island.

Greta: (looking at me again) “What does that mean Aunty Fiona?”

Me: “Well….(I start realising that I couldn’t dig my way out of THIS one!) it means that I am the only one in our family who isn’t suspected to have aspergers. That is an autistic spectrum disorder that basically means that I think a little differently to how they do.  There is a saying that I am an NT island in a sea of aspies. NT means neuro-typical or “normally wired” if you like”

Greta: (nodding) “Oh, now I get it”.

I knew I needed to change the subject as I KNOW how full-on and uncensored Harley can become when he’s not kept in check!

I look in the rearview mirror and glance at Harley who is licking the car window, I see my window of opportunity and launch into it head first and say ” So…who wants to see a bis splash?”

“Me, me, me ,me!” yell the boys in unison as I deliberately drive through a massive puddle that’s on the  side of the road. The wheels make a big whooshing sound as I accelerate and the entire vehicle is covered in dirty rain water and mud!

The wipers work madly trying to clear the windscreen and I smile as they cheer and start chanting “Do it again, do it again, do it again!!”

Then I relax back into my seat as the awkwardness of the above conversation recedes into the background now over taken with giggles as they watch the mud drip off the windows bit by bit and the rain make patterns on the windows as it gently washes the splotches off.

My kids are great but GEES they put me in some sticky spots!

The amazing train journey!

OK , I’m ready to write about one of the most awkward/amazing/un-imaginable days I have had for a long long time!  

image from railpage.com.au

For those who don’t know what I’m rattling on about….let me give some brief history here.

Sunday – Mr Patient drove the children and me up to my mum’s for the Easter school holiday break and had booked a flight to come home that evening so he’d be back home in time for work the next morning.

It was a very kind offer to drive us as he knows how hard it can be to drive that far alone. So you can imagine his annoyance when he logged onto the computer to confirm his flight and realised that he had actually booked it for the day before by mistake!!!

After a few frantic phone calls to the airline, he soon discovered that there were no free seats on a flight for that evening OR for the next morning, the only possible alternative was to turn around and drive all the way back home almost immediately.

Mum and I were concerned about him doing this alone as he was obviously tired from the long drive we’d  just had so made an on-the-spot decision that I would go with him to share the driving and she would mind the children overnight at her house.

We went and booked me a train ticket for the next morning then set off on our way.

And I do need to add how very proud I am of my children that they coped so brilliantly with such a huge and sudden change of plans thrust upon them!

So…fast forward to Monday morning……

I am wandering around alone and slightly lost at Sydney’s Central railway station…..(this place is HUGE and overwhelming) and I spot a familiar face. It was Miss K. She was my English teacher in high school and was known for scaring the pants off her students with phrases such as: “I am neither your friend nor your acquaintance. I am your teacher……do NOT cross that line”

Before I could stop myself, I find myself (obviously delusional with relief at finding someone I recognised), call out “Miss K, It’s Fiona!….Fiona S  from *** High school!”

Her face lit up and she greeted me like a long lost cousin and invited me to join her for breakfast. How could I refuse? It was clear that I was lost and also that we were both catching the same train to my home town.

She asked me to call her by her Christian name but there was NO WAY that I could bring myself to do that!

So over toast and tea we chatted and reminisced. She asked to see photos of my children (which of course I happily obliged) and I received my FIRST grammar lesson of the day!

She commented that the children all had lovely shiny hair and that they weren’t as dark as I am. I said:  “Yes, they are all mousy”.

She tutted me and said:  “One must NEVER reply to a compliment with an insult”.

My face must have given my confusion away because she followed with : “Mousy’ my dear, is how one would describe the drab personality and character of an individual that one no longer wishes to associate themselves with”.

“Err no”, I replied….. “I just meant that their hair is lighter than mine but not really blonde either”!

We filled in about half an hour chatting and noticed that it was time to head towards the platform to board the train. I excused myself to go to the bathroom wishing her well and safe travels.

I had just entered a stall and hung my handbag on the hook when I hear “Fiona…Oh Fiona my dear…..Our train is leaving from a different platform than we originally thought. I shall wait here for you and guide you to the correct one.”

Oh-kay!  I was glad no-one could see my face!

I walked with her over to the correct platform and she asked me what carriage I was in. I looked at my ticket and told her “D”.

“Oh , how lovely”! She replied.  “As am I”!

It was a mostly empty carriage so she asked me to sit in the seat across from her so we could continue chatting and I did until a few towns later  when a couple arrived and I was in their seat.She offered me the one RIGHT NEXT TO HER! So I felt it would be rude to say no so there I sat for the rest of the journey!

At this stage, I had already mentioned to her that 2 of my children were on the autistic spectrum and had explained how life with aspergers looked through my eyes. But over the following  4 or 5 hours – I was able to explain in great depth how diverse it really can be from individual to individual.

The Country Link staff member who checked our tickets and walked through the carriages from time to time taking our rubbish and attending to us was wearing a blue ribbon on his vest, so naturally I asked him what it was in support of and was disappointed to learn that it was in fact only for the recent Victorian flood victims.

I had intended to inform him that it was also autism awareness month but before I could open my mouth – Miss K was saying very matter-of-a-factly : “Young man, are you not aware that April is autism awareness month. This young lady here is the mother of 2 children with autism. Maybe your ribbon should be for BOTH of these worthy causes”.

My mouth dropped to the floor!

I was starting to see another side of this wonderful lady!

We continued chatting about her travels overseas since she retired a few years ago and her history knowledge was remarkable! She could tell me a fact about every small town that the train rolled through!  She cheekily told me which of my past teachers she suspected had aspergers and informed me of who was still teaching, who had retired, who had died and who she wishes had!

The conversation flowed beautifully until she asked me what I did in my spare time.

Of course I gave my usual answer of: “Spare time? What’s THAT?” to which she tutted again and rephrased the question to ask me what I enjoyed doing. What brought me the most pleasure in life and what would I most like to do if ever I had more free time.

I didn’t have to think about it because I’ve realised lately that I really, really love writing.

Not necessarily blogging, but I have a couple of notebooks and journals that I jot down my thoughts and poetry into. These are my safe places. The places that I can write whatever i want. Whenever I like.

None of it is open to public scrutiny and none of it has to be grammatically or punctually correct. I write it for me and me only.

She asked me if I’d ever had anything published. I told her no.

But then I remembered that I contributed to a new just released book called ” The Autism Experience”.

You can click on the book image on the top right of this page to order your own copy if you haven’t already.

This wonderful book is the brainchild of my friend Valerie Foley who compiled and edited and marketed this book brilliantly! It is full of parent’s stories from all over the world and how they live their lives with autism as a part of it.

You can also visit Valerie’s amazing blog Jump on the rollercoaster but make sure you promise to come back here afterwards. I’m not a professional writer like she is!…….and of course Miss K asked me how I became involved with this.

So I had to tell her about my blog.

I said it quickly hoping she’d not pry and I was even smart enough to get out my iPad and show her tha
t I was unable to connect to a wireless connection so therefore couldn’t open my blog.

 But she was smarter and more switched on than I had given her credit for!

“Why don’t you show me on your iPhone dear…..I saw you fiddling with your emails earlier so you must be able to access the internet through that!”

Then she winked at me and I knew I was beaten.

After much fiddling and sweating, stressing and panicking, I finally settled on *this* post.

It was one of the first posts that I ever wrote and it is specifically about my son Harley and how autism looks on him.

As she read it, I could feel my heart throbbing, my hands sweating and my mouth drying up. As much as I told myself that her opinion didn’t matter to me- I knew deep down that really…it  did.

She finished reading and turned to me and said: “Wow, that was beautifully written. You know your child so well.”

Finally I exhaled.

She then completely surprised me by adding….: “You know what Fi (and I nearly collapsed after hearing her shorten my name!)…..“If I had have been shown something like this when I was teaching, it would  have made me a better teacher!”

And with that…..we sat side by side like old friends smiling as the train continued its gentle clickety clack, rocking motions until we eventually rolled into town.

She spotted my children waiting on the platform before I did. I helped her disembark from the train and I turned around after hugging my kids only to see her red cape-style jacket disappearing into the crowd Mary Poppins style!

I don’t know if we’ll ever meet again, but I really hope we do

 

This is me Meme

Laura at Life in the house that asperger built has tagged me in the COOLEST Meme…

This is the plan:

• Ask your child to draw a picture of you. It doesn’t matter how old they are…
• Post the picture on your blog.
• Call it the ‘This is Me Meme’.
• Pop over to here and add to the linky.
• Then tag some others

Ok…..Firstly Here’s my 4 year old son Lucas’ drawing:

Apparently I have short spikey hair?

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.

Then my 7 year old son Harley drew this:

He tells me that this is me holding his hand and that they are not

fingers on the right of the picture but they are his hands flapping

because he’s happy to be with me…awwwww!

.

.

And this is my 11 year old daughter Ella’s drawing:

Complete with a few very flattering adjectives and my two favourite past times

(according to her) Piano playing and blogging!

 

Now it’s my turn to tag some people. If you don’t want to take part that’s AOK with me but it IS a lot of fun

 

Ok, I’m tagging:

The Marvellous Merri @ Treasures in the dust

The Dancing Queen DQ @ I should have called him Calvin

The Sensational Steph @ Steph’s diary

and

The Lovely Lizbeth @ Four sea stars.

 

HAVE FUN!!!!