Hearing versus listening. A mother's joy :)

 

Today was the big day, the day that I have been holding my breath for-the day for Harley to meet his new psychologist.

I picked him up from school this afternoon and could tell right away that he wasn’t in the mood for being agreeable. He stomped over to the car and said “Just so you know Mum, I already hate this lady that you’re making me meet” and threw his backpack into the boot.

I calmly got into the car and started driving toward the clinic. We were at least 40 minutes early so I parked the car and suggested that we cross the road to the supermarket to buy something for afternoon tea. He agreed and we held hands and started walking, but as soon as we neared the traffic lights , he froze and started shaking. I picked him up and carried him across the road while he clung to me for dear life ignoring the people who couldnt help but stare at us. (As you would expect because it’s not everyday that you see a mother carrying a 9 year old child in school uniform like you would a toddler ). But I made the choice not to die on this particular mountain.

So into the supermarket we went and grabbed some gluten-free snacks (while I listened to him have his usual moaning session about how unfair it is that he can’t eat gluten and how mean it was for me to pass this on to him yada yada yada).

* Insert eye roll*

And as we walked up to the self-serve checkouts to scan our items , he started freaking out again. This time it was because I was touching the screen and he was paranoid that I might pick up some contagious lurgy and pass it onto him.
He refused to hold my hand to go back outside again.

Isn’t OCD fun?

Anyway, we got back to the clinic and met the new psychologist and I have to say that I absolutely loved her! Probably my favourite thing about her was that she was completely unaffected by his rudeness and anti-social behaviour. She was non-plussed when he grunted at her when she introduced herself and even when he blatantly ignored her questions.
It was apparent very early on that she obviously knows autism disorders intimately because she treated him with the utmost respect despite the fact that even once he finally started talking, he answered every single question with: “I dunno” and an eye roll.
He then tried to go back to ignoring her but she knew his game and didn’t let his rudeness affect her.

And I must say that it was a HUGE relief for me to not feel the need to explain his actions. Normally I have to play the autism card to apologise for his bad manners but this time….she just smiled at us whenever he tried another tactic.

She took down a brief family history and asked a tonne of questions relating to his diagnosis and was particularly interested in the details surrounding exactly “how” he received his aspergers diagnosis.

We explained to her that he never underwent the official multiple-disciplinary team diagnosis that his brother did because he was already 4 but that a Paediatrician had issued his asperger diagnosis instead.

And what happened next almost knocked me off my chair. She looked me square in the eyes and said: “I do not believe that this child has aspergers at all. And if I were to diagnose him based on what I’ve seen today I would call it high functioning autism at the very least. How do you feel about that”?

I actually stood up and shouted: “Thank you!”

No professional has ever wanted to hear from me because I’m just the mother. My opinions have been disregarded for so long now that I had actually started to doubt myself. And today was the validation that I have been searching for. I am so tired of health professionals treating me like some stupid, neurotic, over zealous freak. I KNOW my child and finally, FINALLY today it was recognised.

So , umm….yeah. Nothing much changes in his world straight away because a different diagnosis it won’t alter the amount of funding he receives at school but it WILL make it easier for us to understand how to help him. So that’s a huge plus in my books

And because this post is already getting far too long, I will write more about what else we learned today in the next few posts including her thoughts on his OCD, anger, anxiety and behaviour.

It’s all up from here folks!

I send a massive big thank you to all of you who have sent us kind messages and prayers since my OCD post went viral. Your support has meant the world to us.

But until next time…goodnight all! This mother is physically, emotionally and mentally SPENT!

X

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