There are many variations of this phrase but it is usually something along the lines of : “Oh my gosh…that’s is SO aspie”!
Paul and I often say this to each other when we notice the other doing something that is particularly quirky or odd. (And believe me, both of us have enough quirks to fill an entire library of books) but that’s not the problem.
You see, the problem is that I’ve noticed that whenever we point out something that other person does, it is almost always one of the more negative quirks of aspergers and rarely the positive.
For example: I don’t say things like: “Wow, I’m so impressed that you can memorise word-for-word entire scenes from Monty Python”
I’d more likely say: ” Oh wow, feeling a tad echolalic today are we dear? You are SO aspie”.
Or whenever we are out; I should probably say to Paul: “I know you don’t enjoy being around people too often, but wow, it was wonderful to see you engaging with our friends like that”.
But usually I’d say something like: “Do you think you could you be any more awkward? …You are SO aspie!”
Just the other week, we were in a major shopping centre and I reacted to the over-the-top noise coming from the food court where we had planned to have a coffee together….Paul took one look at my face and said teasingly: “Come on you big aspie…you can do it”….
And sometimes when the phone rings I’ll sigh and say “Let the answering machine get it, I’m too tired to talk to anyone right now” He’ll smirk and say “Having an antisocial aspie moment are we?”
Our banter is mostly light-hearted but I’ve begun to realise that by doing this, we are focusing on all the wrong parts of our sons’ diagnoses.
Because yes….I’ll admit that at times living with aspergers is heart breaking, daunting, overwhelming, frustrating and exhausting, but it also has great points as well.
Harley for example is a whiz at remembering facts about his current interest, and the enormity of his knowledge on that particular subject is literally mind-blowing. When he is in a suitably quiet and calm environment – he can channel all of his attention solely onto whatever it is that he is doing and can memorise things that most adults wouldn’t be able to concentrate on for long enough to achieve the same results.
And Lucas amazes me with his ability to hear what I say and obey even when he seems to be a million miles away as he jumps, turns and bounces all over the house. Most people would swear that their child was ignoring them if they saw them acting like Tigger, but I’ve learned that when Lucas is in this mode – he is so much more switched on than I’d ever thought possible. What an awesome gift that would be!
These days , it’s pretty common knowledge that autism is a genetic condition and aspergers is generally passed down from at least one if not both of the parents. And that’s why we have so much fun telling the other one that it came from them.
But that’s really neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things because it really doesn’t matter. But what does matters is that we make a more concerted effort to focus on the good stuff and encourage the boys to keep going onwards and upwards.
And anyway…..You all know that where it really comes from anyway right?
It’s obviously *cough cough* PAUL *cough cough*