I may be going out on a very thin limb in writing this post but I feel very strongly about this particular subject and the advocate in me isn’t prepared to sit down and shut up this time. It was conveyed to me recently that my children need healing and I prickled at this suggestion. More than I expected to.
I have come to realise that being both an autism parent AND a Christian who believes in healing can be a very contentious mix at times. And it’s probably not for the reasons that you think.
I believe in a powerful God who can do the impossible: but here’s what I DON’T believe: I don’t believe that autism is a sickness that requires healing.
And let me say up front that I am not nor will I ever be seeking out healing for my boys from their respective autism. They are not sick or ill or diseased, they are simply different.
But unfortunately, not everyone shares this view.
The word ‘advocate’ means to speak, plead or argue in favour of a cause that you believe in. And anyone who reads this blog would have noticed that I very much believe in my children and their potential and am not backwards in coming forward when it comes to creating awareness for autism.
See, here’s the thing. When I’m told that my child needs healing: I’m basically being told that there is something wrong with my child. I’m being told that they are not acceptable the way that God made them and that they are faulty, defective and sick. They are not being accepted for who they are.
You don’t pray for the well to be healed so why pray for healing from autism for my boys?
If they have a cold, a broken limb or a fever by all means intercede in prayer for them, but please don’t insult them and me by praying away the very essence of who they are.
Sure – I hate the anxiety, the fears, the hurt and the anguish that their differences may sometimes cause them, but I certainly don’t hate who they are. And I believe that discovering the difference between the two is paramount in understanding what autism awareness is all about.
I dislike that ordinary daily tasks are a challenge for my boys, I dislike that they struggle to just ‘be’ in many situations and I dislike that they are becoming more and more aware of their differences. But I don’t want them to feel that they need to conform to society in order to be accepted. I want society to change how they view those beautiful members of our community who just happen to have an autism spectrum disorder.
And I don’t see my children as broken, sick or in need of “healing”. I see them as Wonderfully Wired. I see them as having been created to be remarkable. Hence the name of this blog.
Asthma is an illness. Depression is a mental illness. Influenza, heart disease and cancer are all illnesses.
Autism is not. It does not need a cure or prevention. It needs love, acceptance, and people who are willing to look past the diagnosis to the heart of the person.
Look at these photos: Do these babies look “sick” to you?
No…..they are precious, they are wanted and they are loved.
I knew from the minute that I held them for the very first time as newborns that they have amazing futures and nothing is going to stop them from living their best lives.
Hope you’ve all had wonderful weekends.
Fi x
Incredible that Christianity is all about compassion, forgiveness and acceptance – yet anyone who is different then so often the response is that person needs healing.
We’re all here with the power of free will.
Some of us are here to prompt others to see how they will use that free will. With compassion and acceptance, or derision and a demand that the person who is different be “healed” until they are the same as everyone else?
Your children are blessed to have come to a parent who is such a strong advocate.
In all fairness, the person was speaking out of love, compassion and acceptance. They just don’t live this life and don’t understand autism first hand so they simply don’t get it. I don’t want to turn this into a religious debate because it’s unfair to generalise that all Christians are trying to make us all assimilate because that’s simply not true.
I’m more about teaching people that there are other ways to view things rather than how they naturally appear
Yeah, I guess I fell for one of my own bugbears – all generalisations are bad, so I went and made one.
I know plenty of very devoted people who call themselves Christian who see beyond the dogma of mainstream denominational christianity. Even though quite a few of them are well and truly embedded within that system of denominational worship.
It is pretty normal that mainstream of any movement is most comfortable when everyone they deal with is just like them. Ususally that involves the other person changing to fit the mainstream, not the mainstream moving to encompass the person who isn’t in the mainstream.
Perfect timing my lovely friend, it’s Sunday morning here and I am going through my usual Sunday morning angst. As an adult Aspie and a Christian I replay many religious words of those who have made me feel defective over the years.
I love God and I know He loves and accepts me for who I am, He created me this way and as a small child I never felt wrong or weird, I felt like it was good to be me. I want to go to church, I want to sing to God and be with His family but I have been hurt so deeply by those who see me as needing to be like the mass.
I don’t feel ill, I love when people pray for me because they love me. But I don’t need healing from how my brain is wired. I feel misunderstood and would like to been seen and accepted for who I am and how God speaks to me. I don’t deliberately fidget or fuss, I can’t cope so have developed my own ways. I have questions I need answers to. I’m not being argumentative I just just don’t always understand and I would like to understand. I can’t look most people in the eye, because I don’t feel loved by them I feel pitied, or used and it’s like I can hear their thoughts of me in my head.
My kids and I do not need healing of Autism but we do need God’s healing of the mental damage done by ignorance.
And the most important thing I have to say on this is Autism is not a sin, I love God, I love people, I love animals and nature. I am not and ever have been evil. I try my best each day to serve God in the way He calls me to serve.
Thank you for voicing this Fi, you are my hero…hehe
Also my precious friend, you are the perfect Mum to your beautiful babies don’t you ever forget that.
Love you to the moon and back. Lees. xxxx {{{{HUG}}}} X
Keep advocating.
Keep going. I am confident that society IS changing, just not very quickly…
I admire your confidence and conviction in your beliefs. I also understand how much our children need acceptance and understanding over prayers to change who they are. And I could not agree with you more on those points. My son does have comorbid conditions with his autism that I wish could be healed like seizures and dyspraxia. But even with these, he is doing the best he can do. He does not need pity. He needs understanding. I don’t think outsiders could ever get that unless they have deeply loved or been very close to someone with special needs. Thanks for giving me so much to think about today Fi.
I think that when someone makes a comment like the one that was made to you….. it is a matter of questioning their motives. If they are ignorant to the ways of autism, then they need guidance on what it is all about. If the person is adamant that their way is the only way… then you know that you will have a battle on your hands. Then the question is; do you smile and let them go their way or do you get hot under the collar over something that is going to cause grief!
I have learned over the years that it is not possible to please everyone, therefore the best thing to do is concentrate on your own journey, educate where possible and smile at all the others!
Oops, hit the send key by mistake…. my name is not br!!!
The problem is, the people who are invested in “healing” our “sick” children with Autism or similar, are neither being accepting themselves, nor encouraging acceptance in others.
Accept my son, and encourage him to grow. Nurture him. I’m sure that is the best start we can hope for.
I completely understand your viewpoint! I know it’s probably hard to keep having to explain it, but I encourage you to keep it up. I have hope that eventually people will understand.
I too believe in different not defective. If God were here in the flesh, He would not say “Your autism is cured.” Instead, He would say “Your sins are forgiven.” Nothing in the Bible says “You shall not have a different mind.”