You might remember me writing a few weeks ago about a difficult decision that Mr Patient and I had to make regarding our decision to not attend a close friend’s wedding together as a family of 5.
The basic gist of that post was that we felt that it was too much for the boys to handle so Ella and I flew up together Saturday morning for a girls weekend and Mr Patient stayed home with the boys so that we could avoid possible meltdowns and sensory overload.
Mr Patient had an absolute ball with the boys. They toasted marshmallows on the gas stove top, they watched “Mega Mind” on the big screen tv and he took them shopping and bought them both a plush angry birds toy each. (Who says bribery doesn’t work!)
He tells me that they spent HOURS throwing them at the stuffed pig perched on top of a laundry basket over and over and over again amidst fits of giggles!
Meanwhile Ella and I spent some really wonderful (and much-needed) mother-daughter quality time together and I honestly didn’t realise how much we desperately needed this until we actually did it.
This child puts up with a helluva lot from those brothers of hers.
I’ll go back to Friday night now to set the scene for Ella’s complete turnaround of her emotional state.
I’d had an extremely difficult afternoon with Harley. He was in one of his particularly cantankerous, irrational and brain frazzling moods. NOTHING calmed him, he stomped around, punching all of us and walls and furniture and screaming at anyone who dared to go near him.
(In hindsight I can see that it was probably him not coping with the fast approaching weekend changes) but still – it was very trying on all of us.
I walked up to my bedroom at the other end of the house and found Ella sitting on our window seat with her head in her hands sobbing. I went over and wrapped my arms around her and asked her what was upsetting her. She said that she was sick of all the yelling. My heart sunk as I realised that me yelling at the boys all afternoon had taken it’s toll on her and I told her how sorry I was.
She replied that she wasn’t upset with me, but that she hated that I got pushed to the point of cracking every single day. She said she understood why I yelled so much because the boys are just so full on and that she wished she could make my life easier.
I honestly hadn’t realised that this all affected her THIS much… and my heart broke for her.
So this weekend was very healing for both of us.
The wedding was absolutely amazing! The bride was stunningly gorgeous, the ceremony in the park was just beautiful and I had such a ball at the reception!
I got to catch up with a lot of friends and had such a brilliantly fantastic time…..SO much fun!
I tried not to but I couldn’t help my mind from wandering.
The ceremony was in a beautiful park and you couldn’t have asked for a nicer day. Here we are only days away from winter and we were wearing strapped dresses and trying to shade ourselves from the heat!
About 200 metres away from where the ceremony was held – there was a playground. I could imagine that if the boys were there – we would have had a helluva time keeping them away from that but Ella just sat calmly in her seat enjoying the proceedings.
The reception was in a hall about 30 minutes drive out-of-town. A real bush setting and it was AWESOME!
Mum and I watched Ella dance around the hall having the absolute time of her life! Mum commented on how wonderful it was to see her so carefree and happy and I couldn’t agree more.
There were no tense parents to contend with, no annoying little brothers and no expectations on her to “take the high road”.
But as I sat in that hall smiling from ear to ear, I found myself thinking again about the sensory nightmare that it would have been for my boys.
The chatter of a hundred happy people, the clanging of the dishes and glasses, the smells of the cooking dinners, the bright lights and the constantly swaying balloons on the centrepieces would have all been enough to possibly push Harley into a sensory overload explosion!
The speeches were very entertaining, heartfelt and just the right length but even so – Harley would have been stretched to his limit having to sit still for that long.
Ella had so much fun out on the verandah with her cousins snorting helium from the balloons and playing with them all night. The girls get on so fabulously and I couldn’t stop smiling as I watched her so blissfully happy.
She felt very grown up as she tried her very first cup of sweet tea and declared that she is now addicted to it!
We were amongst the last people to leave that night and Ella didn’t get to bed until almost midnight (she was wide awake thanks to the caffeine in the tea!)
It’s no secret that I would desperately love to move back home. Not only is my Mum there, but so is my best friend and also a lot of other friends too. The lifestyle is a much slower pace and I find peace when I’m surrounded by family and friends.
We cherished our time together and it was so hard to say goodbye again.
The final boarding call was made and as Mum hugged us, I found myself sobbing into her shoulder, clinging to her fighting the urge to run back to her car and refuse to board the plane home.
I desperately wanted to stay and the thought of going back to the chaos that is my life made me physically nauseous.
Don’t get me wrong…..I love my boys and I couldn’t wait to see them again, but to experience how other people live if only for a weekend was simply amazing.
To see my daughter flourish and relax was awesome and to be able to enjoy myself without having to always be one step ahead, predict the unpredictable and avoid the unavoidable was out-of-this-world.
If nothing else….Mr Patient and I have agreed that Ella and I need to get away together more often. He saw how much this meant to both of us, and I am going to look forward to our next escape.
Not sure when that will be – but at least I have something to look forward to.
Now…..back to life as I know it….