Wow!
You might remember me writing a few weeks ago about a difficult decision that Mr Patient and I had to make regarding our decision to not attend a close friend’s wedding together as a family of 5.
The basic gist of that post was that we felt that it was too much for the boys to handle so Ella and I flew up together Saturday morning for a girls weekend and Mr Patient stayed home with the boys so that we could avoid possible meltdowns and sensory overload.
This turned out to be a MAGNIFICENT decision I must say! 
Mr Patient had an absolute ball with the boys. They toasted marshmallows on the gas stove top, they watched “Mega Mind” on the big screen tv and he took them shopping and bought them both a plush angry birds toy each. (Who says bribery doesn’t work!)
He tells me that they spent HOURS throwing them at the stuffed pig perched on top of a laundry basket over and over and over again amidst fits of giggles!
Meanwhile Ella and I spent some really wonderful (and much-needed) mother-daughter quality time together and I honestly didn’t realise how much we desperately needed this until we actually did it.
~
This child puts up with a helluva lot from those brothers of hers.
I’ll go back to Friday night now to set the scene for Ella’s complete turnaround of her emotional state.
I’d had an extremely difficult afternoon with Harley. He was in one of his particularly cantankerous, irrational and brain frazzling moods. NOTHING calmed him, he stomped around, punching all of us and walls and furniture and screaming at anyone who dared to go near him.
(In hindsight I can see that it was probably him not coping with the fast approaching weekend changes) but still – it was very trying on all of us.
I walked up to my bedroom at the other end of the house and found Ella sitting on our window seat with her head in her hands sobbing. I went over and wrapped my arms around her and asked her what was upsetting her. She said that she was sick of all the yelling. My heart sunk as I realised that me yelling at the boys all afternoon had taken it’s toll on her and I told her how sorry I was.
She replied that she wasn’t upset with me, but that she hated that I got pushed to the point of cracking every single day. She said she understood why I yelled so much because the boys are just so full on and that she wished she could make my life easier.
I honestly hadn’t realised that this all affected her THIS much… and my heart broke for her.
So this weekend was very healing for both of us.
The wedding was absolutely amazing! The bride was stunningly gorgeous, the ceremony in the park was just beautiful and I had such a ball at the reception!
I got to catch up with a lot of friends and had such a brilliantly fantastic time…..SO much fun!
I sat through the ceremony in complete peace but every so often, I would find myself thinking about how different it would have been if the boys were there. 
I tried not to but I couldn’t help my mind from wandering.
The ceremony was in a beautiful park and you couldn’t have asked for a nicer day. Here we are only days away from winter and we were wearing strapped dresses and trying to shade ourselves from the heat!
About 200 metres away from where the ceremony was held – there was a playground. I could imagine that if the boys were there – we would have had a helluva time keeping them away from that but Ella just sat calmly in her seat enjoying the proceedings.
The reception was in a hall about 30 minutes drive out-of-town. A real bush setting and it was AWESOME!
Mum and I watched Ella dance around the hall having the absolute time of her life! Mum commented on how wonderful it was to see her so carefree and happy and I couldn’t agree more.
There were no tense parents to contend with, no annoying little brothers and no expectations on her to “take the high road”.
But as I sat in that hall smiling from ear to ear, I found myself thinking again about the sensory nightmare that it would have been for my boys.
The chatter of a hundred happy people, the clanging of the dishes and glasses, the smells of the cooking dinners, the bright lights and the constantly swaying balloons on the centrepieces would have all been enough to possibly push Harley into a sensory overload explosion!
The speeches were very entertaining, heartfelt and just the right length but even so – Harley would have been stretched to his limit having to sit still for that long.
Ella had so much fun out on the verandah with her cousins snorting helium from the balloons and playing with them all night. The girls get on so fabulously and I couldn’t stop smiling as I watched her so blissfully happy.
She felt very grown up as she tried her very first cup of sweet tea and declared that she is now addicted to it!
We were amongst the last people to leave that night and Ella didn’t get to bed until almost midnight (she was wide awake thanks to the caffeine in the tea!)
The next morning, we said goodbye to my sister and her family and Mum, Ella and I headed into town for a coffee and some lunch before our 1pm flight back to the city. 
It’s no secret that I would desperately love to move back home. Not only is my Mum there, but so is my best friend and also a lot of other friends too. The lifestyle is a much slower pace and I find peace when I’m surrounded by family and friends.
We cherished our time together and it was so hard to say goodbye again.
The final boarding call was made and as Mum hugged us, I found myself sobbing into her shoulder, clinging to her fighting the urge to run back to her car and refuse to board the plane home.
I desperately wanted to stay and the thought of going back to the chaos that is my life made me physically nauseous.
Don’t get me wrong…..I love my boys and I couldn’t wait to see them again, but to experience how other people live if only for a weekend was simply amazing.
To see my daughter flourish and relax was awesome and to be able to enjoy myself without having to always be one step ahead, predict the unpredictable and avoid the unavoidable was out-of-this-world.
If nothing else….Mr Patient and I have agreed that Ella and I need to get away together more often. He saw how much this meant to both of us, and I am going to look forward to our next escape.
Not sure when that will be – but at least I have something to look forward to.
Now…..back to life as I know it….
*sigh*

You are so amazing the way you write. You both look so gorgeous – as usual! Yes, all of this does affect the other children. I know my eldest feels the same as Ella and gets overwhelmed with the overactive little brothers! I am so glad that Mr Patient had a great time. God was so in that!! Praise Jesus for your progress and the amount of people that you will also help in the future (as well as now) through this growing and difficult time.
They will called you blessed!! xxxxxx
God was DEFINITELY in that!
xx
I already feel blessed having friends like you in my life
Hello my lovely Fi,
Beautiful post my lovely, I know that feeling that *Ella has, of wanting so desperately to help my Mom. I’ll keep this in prayer for you my lovely.
AND…WOW!!! didn’t you make perfect memories, I told you you would didn’t I?! Mum and daughter time is so very VERY precious.
Angry birds…hehehe. Mr *P makes me giggle, but I bet ALL thoses boys learnt SO much, and they fun too. That’s just great.
I love you all so very much.
Lees. xxxx
Thanks Lees,
I’m so glad for all the photo so i can remember this weekend more clearly
Thank you for being a wonderful friend x
It’s so great to hear how wonderful the time with your daughter was. And it sounds like your boys had a much better experience home with Dad than they would have at a formal occasion like a wedding. I think you made a very wise decision for the best of everyone involved.
Thank you Aspergirl!
yep, I agree….the boys had a MUCH better time at home
The guilt over the original decision has evaporated now and I’m at peace with the way things panned out x
I’m SO glad you two got to have such a wonderful time, just the two of you! I very rarely (if ever!) get time just Zack and I, and I worry about it as he gets older. Think it’s soon going to be time to call in a favour from my friends and ask them to have Max for a day so I can take Zack out for some one-to-one fun.
*hugs* xxx
Thanks so much Marylin,
I really sincerely hope that you do get to find a way to spend some 1:1 time with Zack. It’s so wonderful when it eventually happens
x
Time alone with every one of our kids is important for all of us. Sounds like it was an absolutely awesome weekend for both the boys, AND for the girls!
There’s a certain city in the south of the state I sorta feel the same way about… but it’s too full of family to be peaceful!
lol, there’s no such things as peace when family is involved Westie!
So glad you all had a good time.
Thanks Tilly x
So glad you were all able to have such a great weekend – in very different ways. Mummy-daughter time & Daddy-son time are both so important!
Yay for the little sanity break! Thank you God!
Yes! Thank you God…absolutely!
Yes there’s nothing like getting out and about to realize quite how far the fringe we are. I definitely think it’s a great idea to plan on ‘away’ time and slot it into the schedule. Getting a good balance is really tough, something we’re still working on around here too.
balance is such a dirty word sometimes isn’t it! But we all need to find it – you’re so right
So wonderful for you and Ella! She sounds like an amazing young girl. This post makes me happy.
She IS amazing….thanks Grace
My daughter and I are going to get away for a week, by ourselves. My sons (both with ASD) will be at home with Dad for a week. I can hardly wait, especially after reading your post! Thanks for sharing!
I really hope that your break away is as good as ours was x
I knew it was the right decision, and not just for you and he boys, but for Ella too. So glad you had such a good time. Would moving back there ever be an option?