I could sit here and say that I’ve never asked that question but I would be lying.
I think that its always a phrase that pops up occasionally, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated.
But I think that the most important thing is remembering not to stay in that frame of mind. It can end up being toxic to my thinking in general.
The question I really should be asking is: Why NOT me?
I actually feel honoured if the truth be known. It’s a huge call to have to deal with autism and the many layers of symptoms that come with it and it literally blows me away to think that God trusts me to raise them! Especially when I’m in a darker season and weighed down by my emotions, doubts and fears.
It’s a daily sacrifice that I have to make. I cope some days because I HAVE to cope……who else is going to do it if I fall apart?
I’m reminded of a post that one of my new friends in blog land has made recently on her blog regarding being more diligent in looking after her own health because there is so much responsibility that goes along with raising these kids and SO much to learn that the thought of passing early and leaving them alone is frightening!
Our kids cling to us because they know we “get” them and that makes them feel safe.
But at the same time, I need to learn to withdraw a bit and take more of a backseat at some stage in their futures so the boys can grow into whatever they are destined to be.
Just because they have autism doesn’t mean that they don’t have an extremely promising future ahead of them.
Autism is a “difference” more than a disability if you asked me. They have amazing potential to excel at whatever they put their hands and minds to.
And as I wrote in a previous post , that when autistic people go into the workforce doing something they love and are good at……they become so blinkered and focused on the task at hand that they end up being leaders in their chosen field.
You just have to watch episodes of The Big Bang Theory to see this in action!
So, whilst the hard days can often bring me to my knees begging for it to end, the days that I feel blessed and honoured and thankful to be chosen to be the one to raise these amazing children far outnumber them